How can I keep my thoughts and sex life pure?

As Pure as the Driven Snow

Here a few tips on keeping pure in your thoughts and in your sex lives.  Let me share two personal observations.  First, this may be a struggle no matter how old you become..  Second, these temptations aren’t constant.  Once you are consistently victorious over them they will subside.  However, they will come back when you least expect it and often with a fierceness that can take your breath away.

 Confess any impure sexual thoughts as sin.  An impure thought is a thought that if acted out would be sin.  Remember what Jesus said about lust. “Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28) 

Seek cleansing.  Deliverance comes from God in response to your faith and discipline.  Claim the Lord’s promise.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)  This will not be an easy victory to win but God can make more than a conqueror.

Demythologize sex.  In the movies, you seldom see the consequences of sex and lust.  Think through the results of impure thoughts.  You will get hooked.  They are addictive.  Lust will eventually lead to action.  It destroys families and persons.

Starve the sources of impure thoughts.  Trace the roots back and cut them off.  Jesus said, “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Matthew 5:29) He was describing the attitude to take toward impure thoughts.  Like a surgeon removing a cancerous tumor, cut it all out.  Each person is unique.  Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you as you identify the sources of temptation in your life.  Then be pitiless, hard-nosed and thorough.  Starve the sources.

Stop thinking of sex as entertainment.  Have you ever thought about how sick it is to watch people having sex as entertainment?  Would you call your married friends and ask to come over to watch them have sex?  Why?  Because it’s sick.  But we’ll turn on the TV or plop down our hard-earned money to watch a couple of actors go at it.  Sex is more than entertainment and recreation.

Read, study and memorize the Bible.  Fill your mind with God’s truth, especially verses that attack the world’s warped view of sex.  Write out the following verses on small cards or slips of paper to carry with you.  Read them several times a day.

• Matthew 5:27-30
• Proverbs 6:25-29
• 2 Corinthians 10:4-5
• Philippians 4:8

Get accountability.  Develop a relationship with a same gender friend who will ask you hard questions and demand honest answers.  Meet with him or her regularly.

 Avoid a negative obsession.  Saying, “I will not think about sex” guarantees you will think about sex.

 Redirect your thoughts.  Use displacement to fill your mind with thoughts about something else.  Picture Jesus dying on the cross.  Imagine his pain.  Make it as real as possible.

 Turn temptation into spiritual power.  Use each temptation as a call to pray for others.  (I pray for other pastors.)  Pull out your Bible verses and read them.  If you pray and read the Bible every time you’re tempted, the devil will be less inclined to tempt you.

Never give up.  If you fall, get up, confess it, receive God’s forgiveness and start fighting to be pure again.  God will help you.

Do Christians need to repent?

Yes, I think Christians need to repent often.  Your relationship with God is like every other relationship you have.  As time passes, you will make mistakes.  You will discover bad attitudes and actions.  The right response is to apologize and to turn from them to the Lord.  Can you imagine a marriage where one spouse never apologizes to the other and never changes?  How long do you thing the love would last?  If you cling to your mistakes and sins, they will strangle your relationship with God.

Here are a two more reasons for repenting regularly.

Judgement is coming.  It is unavoidable.  The judgment may not be as obvious as we tend to think.  And judgment will not happen as soon as some would like, but justice will come.  It’s better to have repented than to receive what you deserve.

Repenting will keep you honest and humble.  Simply keeping a list of rules makes it too easy to become a proud hypocrite.  Man made rules of behavior keep you from seeing God’s true will.  They can choke out your love for God and others.

Jesus calls us to a lifestyle of repentance.  He urges us to keep on turning back to God.  Do you repent on a consistent basis?  When was the last time you repented?  What did God ask you to turn away from?  Was it easy or hard?

Why aren’t all Christians healed of illnesses?

Over 25 years ago, our doctor told my wife she had an incurable disease.  One of her brothers reminded us that as God’s children we had the right to ask him to heal her.  We prayed for her and there was no more evidence of that disease in her system.  We thank God for his healing power.

I do not claim to be an expert on healing.  I am indebted to Pastor Jim Garlow for much of my current understanding of this complex issue.  His book, God Still Heals, is an excellent resource for Christians from all traditions.  His list of hindrances to divine healing, at the end of that book,  is more extensive than mine but I believe these are the most common problems.

1. Many people are not healed simply because no one prays for them (James 4:2).
2. Others are not healed because those praying give up and stop praying (Luke 18:1).
3. Sometimes it is a lack of faith that keeps people from being healed (Matthew 13:58).
4. Sin always blocks God’s answers to our prayers (Psalm 66:18).

Please do not use this list of hindrances as means of assigning guilt if someone you pray for is not healed.  They are meant to be a possible answer to this question.  They are also a challenge to us as we care for the sick.

We should ask God to heal them either through the health care providers or by his gracious intervention.  We should keep praying because we believe God is loving and kind.  We should ask Jesus to help us overcome our doubts as we pray (Mark 9:24).  We should always confess our sins and turn to God for grace and cleansing (1 John 1:9).

QUESTION OF THE DAY:

Do you have a story of God’s divine healing?

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What is a parable and how do we learn from them?

A parable is a special type of story used throughout the Bible to communicate God’s truth.  Jesus told ”parables” to bring everyday experiences along side eternal spiritual truths. His goal was to help people like you and me understand God and his pattern for life.

Usually a parable has one main point.  If we try to make more of the story than that we can we confused.  The parables are not stories with a moral.  In fact, you could say that Jesus always told the story of the moral.  His stories were designed to present God’s pattern for life and not to simply teach a moral.

Happy birthday, Kristen (a few days early)

Parables  are intended to make us think.  They teach us to ask questions and to seek answers for them in the story.  The primary question we need to answer focuses on the principle the parable is revealing.  What is Jesus teaching here?  The follow-up question is “How can we put that principle into practice?”  Here is an example for us to look at together.

The Parable of the Persistent Widow

 ¹ Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. ² He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. ³ And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’   ⁴ “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, ⁵ yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

 ⁶ And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. ⁷ And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? ⁸ I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”  (Luke 18:1-8)

Luke announces the principle revealed in this story by saying Jesus is teaching his disciples to keep on praying.  That makes our work easier.  In the parable, Jesus contrasts the reluctant judge with our loving Heavenly Father.  The judge answered the woman to get rid of her constant requests.  Our Father answers our prayers  quickly because he wants to establish justice.  So, we need to be faithful in praying and not give up.

Take time to read and think about Jesus’ parables often.  They are rich food for your soul and spirit.

What will it cost me to follow Jesus?

 Following Jesus will cost your old religious mindset that puts rules first instead of the needs of others.

 ¹ One Sabbath, when Jesus went to eat in the house of a prominent Pharisee, he was being carefully watched. ² There in front of him was a man suffering from abnormal swelling of his body. ³ Jesus asked the Pharisees and experts in the law, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath or not?” ⁴ But they remained silent. So taking hold of the man, he healed him and sent him on his way.  ⁵ Then he asked them, “If one of you has a child or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull it out?” ⁶ And they had nothing to say. (Luke 14:1-6)

Being close to Jesus will cost you your desire for places of honor and recognition

 ⁷ When he noticed how the guests picked the places of honor at the table, he told them this parable: ⁸ “When someone invites you to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for a person more distinguished than you may have been invited. ⁹ If so, the host who invited both of you will come and say to you, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then, humiliated, you will have to take the least important place. ¹⁰ But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up to a better place.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. ¹¹ For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 14:7-11)

Becoming a Christian will cost you all claim to the stuff in your life.

 ¹² Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. ¹³ But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, ¹⁴ and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” (Luke 14:12-14)

  When you follow Jesus it will cost you every kind of distraction.

 ¹⁵ When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, “Blessed is the one who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.”
¹⁶ Jesus replied: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. ¹⁷ At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’ 
 ¹⁸ “But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’
¹⁹ “Another said, ‘I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.’
²⁰ “Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can’t come.’
²¹ “The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’
²² “‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’
²³ “Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full. ²⁴ I tell you, not one of those who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.’” (Luke 14:15-24)

Being close to Jesus will cost your desire to put FAMILY in first place.

 ²⁵ Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ²⁶ “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:25-26)

 Becoming a Christian will cost you all claims to your own life.

²⁶ “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26-27)

Jesus knows the cost of following Him is high.  That’s why he encouraged people to count the cost of following him before they started. 

²⁸ “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? ²⁹ For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, ³⁰ saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’
³¹ “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? ³² If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. ³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.  (Luke 14:28-33)

What will it cost to follow Jesus?  It will cost you everything you held dear before your met him.  You will need to give up your idols, horoscopes and other practices of your old life that rebel against Jesus as the Ultimate Authority in your life. When you become aware of any area of your life that is not surrendered to Jesus, you will yield it to him. 

What will it cost you to follow Jesus today?

How can we develop a deeper trust in God?

Joshua and Caleb said “Do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them” (Numbers 14:9).

That kind of “God-is-with-us-we-will-win” trust is essential in our relationships with God. How can we develop a deeper trust in God?

The Bible says in Proverbs 3:5-6,
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

First, we must decide to trust God (vs. 5).

These verses begin with a command. God calls us to a complete trust – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” The heart is the center of the mind, will and emotions. It’s not just a feeling. Trusting God is more than giving intellectual agreement the right views about God. The Bible tells us to trust God with all that we are – with all our feelings, our thoughts and our decisions.

This trust involves refusing to follow our own ideas on life. We are commanded not to “lean on our own understanding.” We must decide that we don’t need to know how everything will turn out before we trust God. We must decide to trust him no matter what may happen.

Our trust will make us devoted to God (vs. 6).

The command goes on to tell us to “acknowledge him all our ways.” In other words, we need to relate all of our lives to God. When we acknowledge God in all we do, then we will make a practice of pleasing him. Too often we settle for acting like saints at church and scoundrels at home, school or work. We cannot cover up a week of rotten attitudes and conversations with an hour or two of religious activities on Sunday.

The trust God calls for from us involves pleasing him in every area of our lives. When we decide to trust God with all we are, we will be devoted to pleasing him in every area of our lives.

God will give us direction when we trust him completely (vs. 6).

The command is followed by a promise. There is a reward for obeying God’s order. The Lord “will make your paths straight.”

The trust God calls for from us involves living a life that goes against the norm of our society. When we decide to trust God with all we are, when we are devoted to pleasing him in every area of our lives, then he gives us the grace to see and to walk the “straight paths.”

Trust is absolutely necessary in your relationship with God. You could even say that it’s all or nothing. Either you trust him with everything or you don’t really trust him at all.

Is there an area of your life where you aren’t trusting God? Do you have any reservations or limits to your trust in God? Are you keeping an eye open for a backdoor or escape hatch if things don’t turn out as well as you would like? Are you ready to go anywhere, at anytime, with anyone, at any cost for Jesus? Can you invite Jesus to join you in all your activities?

Reflect on this question for a few moments: Will I face the future with Joshua’s “God-is-with-us-we-will win” trust?

The Relationship between Faith and Prayer

Good words from Larry Wilson — The Relationship between Faith and Prayer.

How can I tell my soul needs restoration?

Check out this list of symptoms found in those with a worn out, dried up, caved in, torn down, burned out soul.

1. Feeling more irritated than you used to
2. Feeling frustrated often or all the time
3. Feeling a little blue or slightly depressed for unknown reason
4. Feeling apathetic
5. Feeling trapped in problems
6. Just can’t get to sleep at night
7. Just want to be left alone
8. Watching more and more TV
9. Not taking care of yourself – missing sleep, skipping meals and not exercising
10. Unable to relax and enjoy life
11. Caught yourself acting like a martyr telling others how hard you work
12. Feel no hope for rest, relief or help

How did you do? Do you have a worn out soul? If you checked several of these symptoms then you need to know why your soul is tired out.

Look at the primary causes of burned out souls.

1. Fear drives you to find security, good feelings and power in familiar things.
2. You work hard at home and in the church out of a sense of duty, loyalty, guilt or pride and not because of God’s love.
3. You have an inner need to be “indispensable”.
4. Resentment can grind your soul to dust over time.

Psalm 23:3 declares, “The LORD … restores my soul.”

First, the Lord can restore your soul as the antidote for your fear. Your security comes from God’s protection and provision. Your good feelings come from His presence. Your power for facing life comes from surrendering to the Lord’s power and provision.

Second, the Lord can restore your soul with a new view of life. In grace, the Lord invites you to follow him in the right paths. The Lord delivers you from the causes and symptoms of your burned out soul. He encourages you to live in concert with his will. He waits for your consent and participation in order to change your behaviors. But the Lord’s grace does not wait to give us good things! At any moment his love can breakthrough upon you!

Third, the Lord can restore your soul with a prescription for victory. Your Shepherd provides a sense of purpose in all you do – when you do it all to share his love. He provides support as you follow him with others. Your Shepherd will guide you into places of balanced rest by giving you limits and boundaries.

We often seek restoration for our weary souls in the very things that tear us down — alcohol, relationships, food, drugs, entertainment, sleep, and even more work. These things are not destructive in themselves; however, when we expect them to do what only God can do they let us down painfully. We need the Lord to restore our worn out, dried up, caved in, torn down, burned out souls.

An Open Apology for Hypocrisy in the Chruch

I tend to chuckle when someone who has never been part of a church says Christians are all hypocrites.  I find it humorous because they often have very little idea of how bad Christians really are.  I was not born in the church, but I was raised in the church.  I’ve seen more and heard about more garbage from church people than most of you can imagine.  Becoming a pastor almost 30 years ago did not insulate me from Christians behaving badly.

However, nothing hurts me more than when I hear the stories of people who grew up in the church, saw and heard some of the things I saw and heard and now they refuse to follow Jesus.  They have rejected him and his church.  Their experiences make me want to scream and weep.

The Bible declares that there is only one way to deal with this kind of garbage.  There is only one way to find healing from all the damage we church going, Bible thumping Christians have caused.  Drag it out into the sunshine.  Expose it for what it really is – sin, deadly, noxious, Jesus crucifying sin.

I will be apologizing for things I know we’ve done wrong.  I will drag our sins out into the open for all to see and hear.  I have two audiences.

One audience will not see this apology.  Many of the people who have been hurt by hypocrisy won’t read a blog by a pastor.  All the people who have never darkened the door of any church might skip this post too.  So, a lot of people to whom this apology is addressed will never see it.

You who do read this apology are my other audience.  Please, open your heart for God’s healing grace to touch you.

What apologies will I make for hypocritical Christians and hurtful church people like me? 

1. I want to apologize to those inside and outside the church for all the times we are louder and more insistent in declaring the things we are against than in announcing our love for you.
2. I want to apologize for my denomination’s focus on holding the correct doctrine about holy living rather than on correctly living holy lives.
3. I want to apologize for all the times we have fought over stupid, inconsequential matters instead of demonstrating Jesus’ love for each other.
4. I want to apologize for all the times when we Christians have been more concerned about losing power and influence in American culture than we’ve cared about helping Americans connect with Jesus.
5. I want to apologize for all the times we worked harder to project the “right” image than we worked to become more like Jesus.

I cannot change the church’s reputation with one blog post.  I cannot fix all the hearts we’ve broken over the years in one hour of worship.  I cannot confess everyone’s sins.  But I can pray, “Change my heart, oh God.”

I cannot change the entire worldwide church and guarantee there will be no more hypocrites.  I cannot change my denomination and drive out all the church people who are behaving badly.  I cannot even change myself.  Only God can make individuals and the church more like Jesus.  I cannot change anything or anyone, but I can pray, “Change my heart, oh God.”

Will you join me in that simple powerful prayer?  How would God change your heart if you allowed him to do it?

How will we ever have enough to help the poor?

Many of us entered the greatest economic downturn since the Great Depression with wild spending habits. As a whole, we were spending more than we earned. Most of us did not save anything. In the face of lower incomes, rising debts and prices, how can anyone ever expect get enough to take care of our families? And how can we help the poor if we can’t help ourselves?

I believe the largest difference between those who never seem to have enough and those who always have enough is not their bank account balances. The main difference is their attitude toward their bank account balances.

We tend to view bank account balances and mathematical formulas as the final statements regarding whether or not we have enough money. But we are children of the One who owns everything. We need to develop the attitude of contentment in all situations. It begins when we look up to heaven and thank God for what we have. That’s what Jesus did when he faced thousands of hungry people with only a sack lunch to feed them. “Looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves.” (Matthew 14:15-21)

Our culture is driven by the desire to own more, to acquire the best, to earn more so we can buy more. We often act as if the cure for our greed is more money. If we have enough money then we will stop being greedy. However, the only way to overcome greed is with contentment. When we are satisfied with what the Lord provides, we have enough. The Apostle Paul put it this way, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13)

We believe in God and we claim to follow Jesus, but we often trust our money and possessions for our security. We mistake our resources for our Real Source. Our security in life and eternity needs to be based on God’s promise to be our Provider.

It’s all about attitude. When we have enough we can share and if we follow Jesus we enjoy sharing with those in need. Having enough is all about attitude and not about our bank balances. There are three things we can do to develop that attitude.

1. Every day we need to look up and thank God for what we have, trusting him to take care of what we don’t have.
   
2. Every day we need to look up and be satisfied with what God provides.
   
3. Every day we need to look up and praise God as we recognize he is our Source.