Why won’t God do what I ask?

I pray a lot.  I ask God to take care of my family and friends but they still have accidents and illnesses.  I ask God to provide money to pay all my bills but there always seems to be more week than my paycheck.  Why won’t God do what I ask him to do?

You’ve asked a question many of God’s people have asked throughout the centuries of time.  Let me start with a few observations.

God will not hear your prayers if they do not line up with his will.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us–whatever we ask–we know that we have what we asked of him. (1 John 5:14-15)

In fact, Jesus made asking for God’s will one of the first requests in the prayer he taught his disciples.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread.  Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (Matthew 6:9-13 emphasis added)

On the night Judas betrayed him, Jesus prayed, “Not my will but yours be done.”

Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”  He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.  Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.  Stay here and keep watch with me.”
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.  Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping.  “Could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter.  “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”
He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.  So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. (Matthew 26:36-44 emphasis added)

It seems to me Jesus intends for us to pray for God’s will even when it takes us into situations we would have avoided on our own.  

John Stott, an author and pastor from England, put it this way.

“Prayer is not a convenient device for imposing our will upon God, or for bending his will to ours, but the prescribed way of subordinating our will to his.  It is by prayer that we seek God’s will, embrace it and align ourselves with it.  Every true prayer is a variation on the theme, ‘Your will be done.’ ”

Citation:  John Stott, The Letters of John quoted in Christianity Today, © 2002

How should you pray about the problems and needs in your life?

1. SURRENDER your “answers” to God like Jesus did.  “If it’s possible for you to do this I would appreciate it, but your will be done and not mine.”
2. SUBMIT your will to God’s will.  Again, “Your will be done in this situation as it is in heaven.”
3. STATE your confidence in God’s willingness and ability to work out his will.  Again, “Your will will be done in this situation as it is in heaven.”
4. SEEK to know what God wants to accomplish in each of your requests.  “Holy Spirit, help me know what and how to pray in this situation.”
5. SHOW your gratitude as God works out his will.  “Thank you for doing your will in this situation.”

How do you pray for your needs?  Do you pray the answers or the needs? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, on Facebook or Twitter.  If this post has helped you or if you believe it might help someone you know, please share it.  Thank you.

Perhaps one of these posts will be helpful to you as well.

• Prayer: Declaration of Dependence
• Why pray?
• Always Prayers
• Prayer Hindrances

Does Jesus understand?

Why doesn’t Jesus understand how I feel?  I know if he understood how I feel he would solve my problem right now!

Several years ago my world was shaken with a life jarring fear.

Her doctor told my wife she had an incurable disease that could be fatal.  Our two oldest daughters were barely toddlers.  I had no desire to be a single parent trying to raise them on my own.  I was terrified.  Why didn’t Jesus understand my fear?  Why didn’t he heal her immediately and make everything normal again.

That was not the first time I’d been afraid for my wife’s life.

My world was rocked in the delivery room of a hospital in Lexington, Kentucky.  Our first child had just been delivered.  Connie began to hemorrhage.  She was blacking out.  I prayed like crazy wondering, “Why doesn’t Jesus do something now?”  What a relief!  He did.  But I still remember the fear that gripped my heart over thirty years later.  Does Jesus understand my fear?

Before we moved to this area, my world was rocked with pain, fear and disappointment.

“We’ll work out a severance package for you.”  Those words hit harder than the District’s decision to close the church where I was the pastor.  My wife and I had bought a house and poured blood, sweat and tears into building this congregation.  Why did this happen to me?  Why doesn’t Jesus seem to understand my pain?

I’ve come to the following conclusions as I look back at these experiences.

1. You don’t need to understand Jesus in order to trust him.
2. Even when you don’t feel like he understands, Jesus will not abandon you.
3. You’ll find Jesus on the awesome mountaintop experiences and in the frightening valleys of life.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, on Facebook or Twitter.  If this post has helped you or if you believe it might help someone you know, please share it.  Thank you.

Don’t Worry?

Don’t worry?  Is Jesus serious?  How on earth can I stop worrying?

Jesus said, “Do not worry.” 

“Don’t worry.  Be happy.” — simple lyrics to a popular song a few years ago and an impossible dream for many people like you.

What does worry look like?

Most people think of childhood as a time with less responsibility, less worry, and less fear. Unfortunately, that may be changing. Mental Health Professionals who work with young people say they are seeing signs that children are becoming more and more fearful. Dr. Karen Pierce, a child psychiatrist at Chicago’s Memorial Hospital says, “These kids are often what we call thermometers, sort of the pulse of what’s going on.” Therefore when the numbers of children being treated for anxiety goes up, it is a sign that more Americans are facing underlying fears as well. People are worried about war and terrorist attacks, on top of the usual concerns such as, paying bills and providing for their families. Other organizations have also noticed an increase in anxiety. The nonprofit organization for youth called Seeking Harmony in Neighborhoods, or ShiNE, has noticed an increase in fear, confusion, and worry. A teen from New York posted this message on the ShiNE website, “Think of a chemical cloud above my school!!! Bomb threats? Think of it. Are we prepared for war? Are we?” Even college campuses report an increase in anxiety with the numbers of students treated for anxiety disorders up as much as 7 percent since 1996. Pierce says, “We need to create a sense of trust in their own mini-environment. How do you come up with words in simple ways to say, We’re safe?”

–Associated Press, Experts: Youth Exposing Nation’s Anxiety, by Martha Irvine, March 17, 2003

What worries employees the most:

• Losing job: 19 percent
• Company going out of business: 13 percent
• Losing employee retirement savings: 12 percent
• Losing employee benefits, such as health insurance: 10 percent
• Physical security at work: 9 percent
• Company relocating: 4 percent

Source: Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM) and the Council of Public Relations Firms survey of 671 randomly selected SHRM-member human resource professionals.
Citation: Darryl Haralson and Frank Pompa, “USA Today Snapshots,” USA Today (10-08-02)

According to a Fall 2001 national poll taken by the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research: Only one in five report they often feel hopeful about the future; seven in ten reported such feelings in a comparable 1990 national survey.

Citation: Marilyn Elias, “Proud to be American, Even with the Jitters,” USA Today Online (10-11-01)

Percentage of medical office visits made for stress-related symptoms: 60-90

Citation: Harvard Business Review, 11-12/94. “To Verify,” Leadership.

Threatened layoffs at work. Drugs and weapons in the schools. We have every right to be fearful, right? Maybe not. In Scared to Life (Victor), Douglas Rumford cites a study that explains why we shouldn’t allow fear to rule our lives:

• 60% of our fears are totally unfounded;
• 20% are already behind us;
• 10% are so petty they don’t make any difference;
• 4-5% of the remaining 10% are real, but we can’t do anything about them.
• That means only 5% are real fears that we can do something about.

Citation: Marriage Partnership, Vol. 12, no. 2.

Don’t worry?  Is Jesus serious when he says that?  Yes.  Jesus’ teachings are very practical.  He was careful to describe for us the kind of life God created us to enjoy.  How?

We need to know Jesus personally and listen to his voice carefully through meditation.

• Recognize his loving care in nature
• Believe in his personal knowledge and understanding of your situation
• Read and reread his teachings in the Bible

Talk to Jesus honestly in prayer.

• Tell him your concerns and fears.
• Trust him to meet your needs.

 Share Jesus’ love passionately.

• Sending gifts
• BETTER YET:

1. Listen when someone talks — especially about his or her worries.
2. Talk to Jesus about others’ worries
3. Look for opportunities to talk about Jesus to those around you

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, on Facebook or Twitter.  If this post has helped you or if you believe it might help someone you know, please share it.  Thank you.

How to Pray for Our Nation

How should we pray for our nation?

The Bible tells us that first of all, “requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving (must) be made for everyone – for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all men…” (1 Timothy 2:1-6).

So, first we should pray for our leaders and all the leaders of the world so that people everywhere can receive Jesus as Lord and Savior.  We should ask God to help them make decisions inline with Jesus’ teachings so that we can enjoy peace.

The Bible also says, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:16-18)

So we should pray for and do whatever we can for all those in distress.  We need to support homeless shelters, orphanages.  We need to feed the hungry and seek to bring justice and peace to our communities, nation and world.

The Bible says, “Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the LORD and do good…. Delight yourself in the LORD…. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him…. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret – it leads only to evil. Wait for the LORD and keep his way. The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble.  The LORD helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him. (Psalm 37)

So we should pray for a deep abiding trust in God – for us, for our nation and for people around the world.

Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:43-48)

So we should pray for our enemies, too.

How do you pray for your nation and the world? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, on Facebook or Twitter.  If this post has helped you or if you believe it might help someone you know, please share it.  Thank you.

How honest do I need to be?

How honest do I need to be?  What if her dress is really ugly?

This is a great question!

If your parents were like mine they told you to always tell the truth.  Perhaps you heard the story of young George Washington saying, “Father, I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down the cherry tree.”  Maybe they told you about Honest Abe Lincoln walking miles to return something that did not belong to him. If you went to Sunday School I know a kind teacher told you the Ten Commandments forbid lying.

And if you are like me you learned your lesson well — until you found out there are exceptions to the rule.  Even if it’s true, you cannot tell your mom’s boss she cannot come to the phone because she’s in the bathroom. (Yes, I did that but I added more details that were also true.) You should not tell your hostess that you don’t like the food she cooked. (Yes, I did and immediately noticed she looked like I had kicked her in the stomach.  On the other hand maybe the sweet potatoes did not sit well with her either.) I discovered more exceptions to the honesty rule when I married.  That brings us back to your question.

What if her dress is really ugly?

How much do you love her?

• Do you love her enough to tell her the truth tactfully? Or do you love avoiding potential conflict more?
• Do you love her enough to offer to take her to a better dress shop? Or do you love your money more?
• Do you love her enough to protect her from the unkind words of others? Or do you love putting off the chance of a disagreement as long as possible more?

We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ…. (Ephesians 4:15)

What lessons on honesty did your parents or Sunday School workers teach you?  I would love to hear about your family’s exceptions to the rule of always telling the truth.  Feel free to share your stories in the comments, on Facebook or Twitter.  If this post has helped you or if you believe it might help someone you know, please share it.  Thank you.