Praying for Your Spouse

How can I pray for my spouse?

Praying with and for each other is one of the great blessings of marriage.  Here are a few suggestions for you and for every married couple.

Prayers for Both Spouses

1. Ask the Holy Spirit to draw your spouse into a deep growing relationship with Jesus.
2. Pray that God’s love will flow through you to your spouse.
3. Ask the Lord to be with the two of you as you do your work.
4. Ask the Lord to be the center of your home and marriage.

Unless the LORD builds the house, 
   its builders labor in vain. (Psalm 127:1)

Prayers for Your Husband

1. Pray that your husband will look to Jesus to find his role model as a man.
2. Ask the Lord to protect him from temptation — especially to the sin that easily entangles him.
3. Pray that your husband will have godly friends to challenge and to encourage him.

Though one may be overpowered, 
   two can defend themselves. 
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

Prayers for Your Wife

1. Ask the Lord to surround your wife with his awesome peace to make her feel safe and secure.
2. Pray that the Holy Spirit will draw your wife into a circle of godly women who will comfort and strengthen her.
3. Ask God to help your wife to feel her worth and value based on the Cross where Jesus died for her.

You husbands should try to understand the wives you live with, honouring them as physically weaker yet equally heirs with you of the grace of eternal life. If you don’t do this, you will find it impossible to pray properly. (1 Peter 3:7)

One More Idea

Pray the Lord’s Prayer together at the beginning of each day.  Or if it fits your schedules better, do it at the end of the day.  Perhaps you may decide to do both.

   Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy.
   May your Kingdom come soon.
   May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
   Give us today the food we need, and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
   And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one.
   For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.  (Matthew 6:9-13)

What do you think?  How do you pray for your spouse?  Share your comments.  If this article has helped you please use one of the buttons below to share it with your friends and followers.  Thank you.

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I Need Your Questions

I have received many good questions since January.  I deeply appreciate every one of you who sent a question to me.  Do you or any of your loved ones have more questions about practical Christian living?  I will do my best to continue to give you heartfelt honest answers. Please us the Contact Form below.  Thanks for all your questions.  This blog cannot exist without you.

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What does it mean to “shipwreck” our faith?

Paul warns Timothy about Hymenaeus and Alexander who were among those who had “shipwrecked their faith” by ignoring the doctrines of the faith and the vital importance of a clear conscience (1 Timothy 1:18-20).  He also informs Timothy that “the Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons” (1 Timothy 4:1).

A person “shipwrecks” his or her faith when he or she stops trusting Jesus.  This is far more than having doubts and questions.  This “shipwreck” is caused by rejecting faith in God and refusing to receive his grace to carry on.  Another word for this is “apostasy.”  Christians who are apostate willfully choose to live and die without Jesus.

How can we avoid shipwrecking our faith?

PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS

Hebrews 2:1 says, “We must pay more careful attention to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away.”  The figure is that of a ship drifting of course and into danger.  The worries and cares of life may lull us into complacency.  The result would be disastrous.  We need regular doses of Bible study and careful application of God’s truth to our ideas, experiences and behaviors.  We dare not tolerate deliberate disobedience in our lives.

STRENGTHEN YOUR SUPPORT STRUCTURES

Look for ways to “encourage one another daily” (Hebrews 3:13).  Pray for each other and help hurting ones to keep moving (Hebrews 12:13).  We need to help each other trust in God’s grace and to be gracious to others as well (Hebrews 12:15).

LIVE IN CONFIDENT FAITH — GOD’S GRACE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH

While it is possible to turn away from God and to shipwreck your faith, you don’t need to live in fear.  God is faithful and he will complete what he has begun in you (Philippians 1:6) as you continue to trust him (Colossians 1:23).  Follow Paul’s example.  “Press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called” us in Christ (Philippians 3:14).

(You can find a similar challenge here.)

What do you think?  What do you do to keep your faith thriving?  Share your comments.  If this article has helped you please use one of the buttons below to share it with your friends and followers.  Thank you.

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Why did bad things happen?

Why did God allow horrible things to happen to a good man like Job?

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The story of Job may be one of the oldest accounts recorded in the Bible.  If so, that means humans have struggled with the question of bad things happening to good people for thousands of years. (Job)

In the land of Uz there lived a man whose name was Job.  This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. (Job 1:1)

One of my mentors at Asbury  Theological Seminary, pointed out that everyone builds a box for God.  Each of us seeks to explain God and what we perceive to be his actions.  However, God is too big for any of our boxes.  As soon as you have him neatly contained in your little box something happens that breaks your box.

In the book of Job and in the thousands of years since, most of our boxes for God expect him to give good things to good people and bad things to bad people. Job’s friends looked at his suffering and concluded that he must have sinned on a grand scale.  Job insisted on his innocence and attacked God’s character because he too believed a good things happened to good people.  His life proves that sometimes bad things happen to the best people.  Job needed a bigger box for God.

When we need to build a bigger box, we often feel deserted and abandoned by God.  A family friend told us of about his son’s fear following surgery to remove his tonsils.  As the boy began to wake up, he cried out for his daddy.  He was inconsolable.  When the drugs finally wore off and he was fully awake, the boy realized his daddy had been holding him all along.

There is one question facing each person in this world where bad things happen to good people. Will you build a bigger box for God?

It can be worded in many ways. Will you live with an ever expanding understanding of God?  Will you learn to trust him even when you don’t have answers for all your questions?

How can you build a bigger box?

1. Open up to life as it is not as you want it to be.  We live in a universe that’s been called mean, unpredictable, unjust and unfair.  Don’t deny the facts or twist them to fit your understanding of God.  Don’t ignore your feelings or the experiences of others.
2. Open up to God.  Utilize the spiritual disciplines to connect with him.  Read and study the Bible.  Pray and fast.  Meditate on Jesus’  teaching.  Experience the power of his love and grace.  Enjoy his presence — even when you feel abandoned.

Perhaps one of these posts will help you.

• Repost: Why does God let bad things happen to children?
• How can I invest time reading the Bible  so my life is changed?
• What are the benefits of reading the Bible?
• Praying the Bible
• Developing a Consistent Prayer Practice

What do you think?  Have you needed to build a bigger box?  Share your comments.  If this article has helped you please use one of the buttons below to share it with your friends and followers.  Thank you.

Praying the Bible

My friends have been talking about “praying the Bible.”  What does that mean? How is it done?

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us–whatever we ask–we know that we have what we asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15).  One of the surest ways to know we are praying God’s will is to “pray the Bible.”  This simply means we read through a passage a few times and then paraphrase it into a prayer.

FOR EXAMPLE: In 1 Corinthians 3:6-9 the Apostle Paul says, “I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.  So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.  The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor.  For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field….”

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We could pray, “Lord, over 80 years ago, a couple of families planted a seed in Bay City.  Several pastors and many Sunday School teachers, youth and children’s leaders have watered that seed.  But God you are the one who made it grow into the church family we know today.  Thank you for those who planted and watered over the years.  Thank you for the faithful laborers who are still watering now.  Thank you for the privilege of being your fellow workers.  We all have only one purpose – to bring others into your family.  And we know you will reward us according to our own work.  So, Heavenly Father, we praise you because you are the only one who can make things grow.  And we ask you to do what only you can do – give us a harvest of men, women and children who join us in planting, watering and working with you as you make things grow.

Try praying through one or more of the following Bible texts:

• Matthew 13:1-8
• Mark 4:26-29
• John 4:34-38
• 2 Corinthians 9:6-11
• Galatians 6:7-10

What do you think?  Have you tried praying the Bible?  Share your comments.  If this article has helped you please use one of the buttons below to share it with your friends and followers.  Thanks.

I Need Your Questions

I have received many good questions since January.  I deeply appreciate every one of you who sent a question to me.  Do you or any of your loved ones have more questions about practical Christian living?  I will do my best to continue to give you heartfelt honest answers. You can send them to me in the comments section below, on Facebook, on Twitter, on LinkedIn or by email.  Thanks for all your questions.  This blog cannot exist without you.

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Will God be mad because I fall asleep in church?

I keep falling to sleep in church. Will God be mad at me?

No, at least I sure hope not. 

Return to your rest, my soul,
   for the LORD has been good to you. (Psalm 116:7)

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My dad told me about a time that he fell asleep when my mom was preaching.  They were serving in their first pastorate in Peru, Indiana.  Dad was working ten hours a night on third shift and attempting to finish his last year of college.  Dad was trying to succeed in life on about two or three hours of sleep.  He spoke on Sunday mornings and mom preached on Sunday evenings.   One Sunday evening he fell asleep but mom got him back.  She called on him to close the service.

That reminds me of one of my college math professors.  He fell asleep during the pastor’s message and his wife woke him up by whispering in his ear.  She said, “Pastor called on you to close in prayer.”  Half asleep, my professor jumped to his feet, interrupting the sermon with his loud prayer thanking God for meeting with them and asking for his protection as they travelled home.  The congregation’s laughter woke him up fully.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

I’ve fallen asleep in church many times.  Like my father I tried to work full-time and go to college full-time.  Who needs sleep when God gave us caffeine, right?  Wrong!  We need sleep to function well.  I wrecked my car and broke my nose to learn that lesson.

If you listen to me, you can save yourself some pain and some cash.

1. God will not be angry with you for falling asleep in church.
2. Find out why you’re so tired.
3. Get some more sleep, even if it means staying home from church once in a while.

If this post has helped you perhaps one of these articles will interest you too.

• How can I get the most out of worship this Sunday?
• Should I feel bad when I occasionally think church is boring?
• TOP TEN REASONS TO ATTEND WORSHIP

Do you have a story about falling asleep in church?  Share it with us in the comments.  Please share this post with others using the buttons below.  Thanks.

Why are you a pastor?

Why did you become a pastor?

First, these are not reasons that I became a pastor.

• I did not become a pastor because my parents were pastors. Yes, both my mother and father were ordained ministers in The Wesleyan Church.  In fact, watching the battles they fought made me want to be anything but a pastor.
• I did not become a pastor because my parents pushed me into the ministry.  They supported all of my dreams from being a cowboy to medical doctor to pastor without pushing me one way or another.
• I did not become a pastor because I always thought I would be one.  Some people grow up knowing exactly what they will do as adults but I was over half way through my college studies when I began to consider the pastorate.
• I did not become a pastor because I wanted to do it.  I fought the idea for over a year and even after struggling through my theological studies it took me four years to stop being sick every Sunday morning.

Now, the reasons I became and have stayed a pastor.

• On a missions trip to Columbia, South America, I realized the world had many medical doctors.  But most people were lost spiritually.  They needed rest for their souls and faith in Christ to soothe their spirits.

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness.  When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.  Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” (Matthew 9:35-38)

• I felt as though God left me with no choice.  I had to go to Asbury Theological Seminary if I was to continue following Jesus.
• After I stopped being sick every Sunday morning, I began to enjoy talking to groups of people about Jesus and the Bible.  In fact, I look forward to each week now.
• I simply cannot imagine doing anything else.  There is nothing quite like seeing people worship God with all their hearts, except seeing the light come on in their eyes when they understand the Bible in a new way.

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What about you?  Why do you do the work you do?  Please let me know by leaving a comment.

Dealing with Critical People

How should I respond to a person who wrongly criticizes the pastor or others in our congregation?

Critical people are unhappy and draw comfort from sharing that feeling with others.  Critical people often carry deep wounds that they cannot allow to heal.  Critical people have been around for thousands of years.  They are inescapable.

Critical people seek out others in order to reinforce their statements.  They want to inflate the importance of their opinions by saying others agree with them.  It gives them a sense of power and influence.

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Here are a few ideas that will prevent people from enjoying passing judgement on others to you.

1. The person may not realize he or she has a critical attitude.  Let him or her know what the statements sounded. You could say, “I feel like you may be critical when I hear you say that.  Do you mean to sound like that?”
2. When you hear deliberate criticism of others, ask the person if he or she has spoken with the one he or she is criticizing.  If not, you have a couple of options.  One the one hand, you can offer to go with him or her to serve as a catalyst in the conversation.  On the other hand, you may inform him or her that you will pass the information on to the one he or she is criticizing.
3. Tell the critical person you believe God can help with the problem and you will pray as he or she goes to talk to the person that was criticized.  If the criticizer refuses to talk to whomever he or she is speaking about, assure him or her that you will talk to them.  Make sure he or she knows your goal is to improve the relationships in the church.  Go to the other person and bring these parties together to talk out the situation.

If you follow these suggestions critical people will either be changed by God’s grace or they will stop talking to you.

You may find one or more of the following posts helpful as well.

• Letting Go of Your Past
• Healing from Bitterness
• How can I forgive someone from the heart?
• The Question I Ask When Receiving a Complaint or Criticism
• Five Ways To Respond To Criticism

What do you think?  How have you dealt with critical people?  Share your story with us in the comments.  If this article has helped you please use one of the buttons below to share it with your friends and followers.  Thanks.

TOP TEN REASONS TO ATTEND WORSHIP

Why should I attend worship at a church?

MY TOP TEN REASONS TO WORSHIP THIS SUNDAY

Come on in

10.  It’s a good excuse to buy new jeans.

9.    It can’t be as boring as you think.

8.    Most pastors are truly caring people.

7.    You might see an old friend or meet a new friend.

6.    Even atheists and agnostics check out worship celebrations from time to time.

5.    The church roof has not been tested for a couple of years.

4.    It will give you the right to tell your grandmother, “I went to church.”

3.    Your nosey neighbor won’t know what you’re up to.

2.    Attending worship will give you a good opportunity to connect with God in a fresh way.

1.    You’ve said, “I need to go back to church” long enough.  Just do it.

You may find one of the following posts helpful too.

• Why go to church? Part One
• Why go to church? Part Two
• Why go to church? Part Three
• Why go to church? Part Four
• How can I get the most out of worship this Sunday?

What do you think?  What are your reasons for attending worship at a church?  Tell me in the comments section.  By the way, please use one of the buttons below to share this post with your friends.  Thank you.